Confidence is the successful repetition of any endeavor. This is my favorite definition of confidence so far which I quote from Debbie Millman. I like it because it is practical and makes confidence within reach of everyone. It is also easy to measure.
But what about SELF confidence?
To me, self confidence is your belief in your ability to achieve success. So if you believe how much money you accumulate is success, then your confidence might be affected by your checking account. This is not healthy needless to say but many people feel lack of confidence because of their inability to accumulate wealth. Same applies to other attributes of the human experience, like physical appearance, intelligence, social acceptance, and much more. But the measure of success varies from one person to the other.
Some people value what they have and despise what they cannot achieve. These are more on the narcissistic side. They usually have too much self confidence, which is as bad if not worse than low self confidence.
Some people do not appreciate what they have and always want what is in other people’s hands. So to speak, This is why some people you would think should be confident and in reality they are not. They have a lot of things you consider worthy, but in their eyes they want something else and they cannot get it. These suffer from the consequences of low self confidence.
Self confidence can be affected by others. Only if you consider others’ opinion important, then your self confidence will be affected by them. But remember it is your mind that determined that others’ opinion matters.
Your Self confidence is only in your mind. You are the only one who can decide to be self confident or not.
Self confidence has a lot to do with being content and being grateful for what one has. Practice gratefulness and you will build self confidence fast.
What else can one do to build self confidence? Do the following six steps daily:
1) Think of three things you are grateful for.
2) Identify three worthy things that you do really well.
3) Remember times from the past when you handled things skillfully and with confidence.
4) Identify one additional worthy skill you would like to build.
5) Every morning, Identify three things you will do today to build this new skill even if by just a little bit.
6) Every evening: write down what you accomplished and how it improved the skill you are targeting. Celebrate the even the smallest imporvements.
Use Evernote or a journal to log your progress.
Self confidence can fluctuate due to circumstances surrounding us, so it is OK if it gets shaken once in a while. This is actually healthy. Having self doubt opens doors for futher self improvement. We all need that.