There are aspects of boxing that I love, one of them is the combination punches that do a job that neither punch cannot achieve on its own. Like the jab cross combination. Where you punch with the left arm, then follow it with a punch from the right arm. The left arm gets the opponent engaged, the right arm finishes the job with force. This is why I called this technique for dealing with negative self-image as the “Jab-Cross Technique.” It is a powerful way to defeat self-image or at least put it in the defensive mode, where it is “retreating” and fading from causing you harm.
Change your Mindset
“I am not very organized,” or “I would like to organize more? “I am so absent-minded?” or “I need to build better focus?” the difference is as subtle and major. The first sentence in each pair makes a negative statement about myself in the negative, labeling “me” in the negative makes me associate the problem as part of me and nothing good can come out of that. For once, it makes it harder for me to change, because I have to change myself. Also, it makes “me” think less of myself. However the second statement in each of the above pairs does not label “me.” It focuses on the positive behavior that I need to adopt, not on me, It is a behavior that needs to change, So I can choose to change the behavior. Especially if it is not me who is negative, it is just a behavior.
Do not dismiss this too quickly. How about a trial? For a day, observe your statements. Any statement you make about yourself make it about a positive behavior you need to adopt. Check how many times you catch yourself making a negative statement about self. Also, how many times you associate a bad behavior with yourself, like saying “The way I manage time is terrible.” How many times do you refer to the negative as part of you? like, “I am a terrible time manager.” In either case, try to do two things:
1) Separate the behavior from you. You are not “terrible.”, You are not “bad.” etc.. your behavior is resulting in poor management of time. or inefficiency in dealing with time. Step one is a good start but not enough, you need to go to step Two.
2) Identify the positive behavior opposite the negative behavior you are trying to change. Make the statement focusing on the positive behavior you need to adopt: “I need to eat healthy.”, or “I want to adopt a healthy lifestyle.”
Please try it and share your experience with us. How did this work for you?